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DivorceThe 4 Ways to Divorce:

The 4 Ways to Divorce

  1. DIY or filing Pro Se, meaning on your own without any professional assistance. Pro Se divorce filing is ideally suited when you agree you’re done with your marriage and you want to move on, and . . . you have no children or joint assets and/or debt. If you have either, you need to pick from the next two types. You can get the Pro Se Divorce forms from most courthouses and online free of charge.
  2. You each retain a lawyer and each pay or are billed a retainer, and one of those lawyers starts the process and files the divorce and lists the demands. Then the other lawyer steps in and defends your rights. 2-5 years and tens of thousands of dollars later you may have your divorce granted and you can move on. That’s referred to as divorce litigation and sadly is still the most common form to divorce, because the system perpetuates the myth that you have to fight for every inch and only ‘good’ lawyers are able to do so, when in reality most everything is rooted in standardized math formulas. It just takes a lot longer and is way more expensive when you ‘fight in court’.
  3. You retain a mediator, a third party neutral, who facilitates the process to a fair, equitable, fast, drama-free, and considerably less expensive outcome. Unlike the perpetuating myth, mediated divorces are very much legally enforceable, are by design private and confidential. They also don’t have to be amicable or previously agreed upon, but again, by design, are a lot easier on family dynamics, finances and stress-levels. In mediation you – both parties –  are in charge of your own divorce and your own timeline, as you can’t be forced to agree on anything you don’t want to. It’s definitely the mature and modern way to divorce. Even the basic forms for the respective courthouses look the same as in contentious litigated divorces.
  4. The fourth option is simply to do nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just go on your merry way. And hope that one day your spouse will want to file for divorce so all you have to do is sign some required papers. Not really recommended if you have children or property, and especially not if you have joint debt, but it is a viable option for some.